CHUCK NORRIS QUOTES
Guns don't kill people, Chuck Norris kills People.- There is no theory of evolution, Just a list of animals Chuck Norris allows to live.- Chuck Norris does not sleep, He waits.- The chief export of Chuck Norris is Pain.- There is no chin under Chuck Norris' Beard, There is only another fist.- Chuck Norris has two speeds, Walk, and Kill.- The leading causes of death in the United States are: 1. Heart Disease 2. Chuck Norris 3. Cancer- Chuck Norris drives an ice cream truck covered in human skulls.- Chuck Norris doesn't go hunting.... CHUCK NORRIS GOES KILLING

BANFF BLACKLIST!
IF YOU SEE YOUR NAME ON THIS LIST YOU HAVE BEEN OFFICIALLY BANNED FROM BANFF! ALTHOUGH WE HAD GOOD TIMES YOU ALWAYS LEAVE BIG HANGOVERS BEHIND AND WE ASK THAT YOU NEVER COME BACK! SCOTT & MIKE RIDEOUT(all Rideouts!), GREGOR LINSIG, SEAN PAYNE, WHEELS(just wheels), ROBBIE & TYLER, BIG CAM(we still have your hair gel), ROD JONES, MIKE JOSEPH, ROB SWIDERSKI (obviously), DAVE GREGORY, TERENCE HOGAN, JD AND RED DAWG FROM(CJ92),SCOTT "SMITTY" SMITH(THANKS FOR 5 MONTHS OF COMPLETE DESTRUCTION, YOU DRANK YOUR BONUS!!!) LANNY, ROLLIE AND ALL THE BACK ALLEY CREW YOU HAVE OFFICIALLY BEEN BANNED, YOU TOO CHANCE!!!! STEVE PARSONS ASKED TO BE PUT ON THIS LIST, WE THOUGHT IT SOUNDED A LITTLE WEAK SO STEVE YOU ARE OFFICIALLY OFF THE BLACKLIST!!!!!! BRAD WEIR, YOU KEEP SAYING YOUR FUNNY BUT WE JUST CAN'T SEE IT!!! ROB AND TASHA SWIDERSKI, YOU KNOW WHAT YOU DID!!!! JOMO GREEN YOU ARE ON THE LIST, WE COULDN'T UNDERSTAND A WORD YOU SAID LAST TIME YOU WERE HERE!, TOM MALIN YOU ARE NOT WELCOME BACK!

STAGS AND STAGETTES
ITS A WELL DOCUMENTED FACT THAT MARIAGE IS PUNISHMENT FOR SHOPLIFTING IN SOME COUNTRIES! BUT IF YOU MUST ENTER INTO THE TIE THAT BINDS WE AT THE HOODOO LOUNGE WOULD LOVE TO HELP YOU WITH YOUR ONE LAST NIGHT OF FREEDOM! PLEASE CONTACT richard@hoodoolounge.com FOR PARTY DETAILS AND PACKAGES!

HOODOO HERO'S
They've done studies, you know. 60% of the time it works, every time!

DEEP THOUGHT
I'd like to see a nature film where an eagle swoops down and pulls a fish out of a lake, and then maybe he's flying along, low to the ground, and the fish pulls a worm out of the ground. Now that's a documentary!